Here & Now
What is up with all these rich people having stupid dial-up? Ugh! I'm almost done my stay at this huge estate with the 2
yorkies. I might give the stinkers a bath tomorrow or Sunday. So far the only catastrophe was the major fly population explosion in their formal living room. Hundreds. Ick. Lots of swatting, followed by vacuuming. Then fly paper & traps in the windows. Tomorrow spray.
I really like having a garage. Hate not getting cell signal in the house. Getting reeeeeeally lonely with no good connection to the outside world. And I'm not a big TV person, so I've been bored. The dogs don't DO anything. They just look at me. Or bark at me. They're kinda old. For lack of anything better to do, I've actually been getting enough sleep. But after so many days of that, I can't get tired enough to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. D'oh!
I tried to blog last night but the computer crashed. And I was too cranky (low blood sugar) to start over.
How was everyone's
Friday the 13th? Oooooh.... I used to kinda like the creepiness of stuff like that. Now I'm like 'whatever.'
I started to tame the
hedgehog at work today. I bought gloves at the hardware store so I could handle it. It's unusually afraid of people and therefore gets really spiky and bites. Making it hard to sell. I made a little progress. Got him (her?) to unroll while being touched. Didn't relax the quills though and kept hissing at me. Next time I'll try rewarding it with mealworms for being brave.
Went out with some
girls from Happy Tails. It was great to hang out with them again. Hopefully we will again next weekend.
Once again I am
broke. I need to change my spending habits. I need to be more like a grown-up. After all, I'm old enough to have been invited to my high school's
10-year reunion! I don't have much interest in going. And Brian said he wouldn't go. And it's expensive. I was all about going to the 5-year one and couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't. But it was actually pretty lame and none of the people I really wanted to see again were there. I thought it might be fun to go as a lesbian this time and Lex said she'd go as my date, but my hometown is much too small for that. It would be such a scandal and my whole extended family would be bombarded with questions for months.
Another thing that turns me off from going is the whole
"What do you do now?" question. I'm pretty happy with my job, but I just don't see telling people I haven't seen for 10 years "I work at a pet store." Maybe if I had stayed at Happy Tails it would be cool to say "I manage a dog daycare." I was voted most likely to succeed. I was going to be an electrical engineer or some shit. But I wasted my parents' money, flunked out of college and I work at a pet store. It's hard listening to my Dad try to make it sound more special than it is when someone asks him what I'm doing now. It sounds like he's trying to sell it but doesn't believe it. (We just had a family picnic.) And there were people there last time who were married and having kids. Now it's been another 5 years and I'm not any further down that kind of a path.
I care way too much about what other people think. I shouldn't. But I always have. The slightest disapproval or disappointment or dissatisfaction with me can crush me. Coming from anyone, stranger or family.
I get scared when I think about
the future. I have no plan. I should have a plan. I should be saving for retirement. I should be saving. I should have career goals. I should have a timeline for achieving stuff. But that's not my style. Is that ok? Maybe. But scary. And maybe I'll regret it when it's too late to change it.
I think I'll go watch TV now.
